And Then I Cried
Due to massive parent-problems to be explained and explored in another post, I send my brother, who offered to talk with me about such issues, a very long e-mail. In response, he called me and we had a two hour phone conversation last night.
During which, he told me he will probably marry The Girlfriend. You know, the one who punched him right after surgery? The one who's mean to their dog? The one who has hated me from day one?
And then I cried.
So let's review:
Growing up, my brother and I fought a LOT. When I moved out of our parent's house, he did the same less than two months later, at which point we became good friends, despite living on opposite ends of the East Coast. Five years later, he started dating The Girlfriend, eventually she found my Other Blog, which solidified her hatred of me, and now I'll never see him again.
Okay, well .... it was really nice knowing you.
During which, he told me he will probably marry The Girlfriend. You know, the one who punched him right after surgery? The one who's mean to their dog? The one who has hated me from day one?
And then I cried.
So let's review:
Growing up, my brother and I fought a LOT. When I moved out of our parent's house, he did the same less than two months later, at which point we became good friends, despite living on opposite ends of the East Coast. Five years later, he started dating The Girlfriend, eventually she found my Other Blog, which solidified her hatred of me, and now I'll never see him again.
Okay, well .... it was really nice knowing you.
posted by Zoe @ 8:17 AM
5 Comments:
At 5/31/2006 12:17 PM,
anne said…
Oh man...that totally sucks. Even thought he knows how mean she is to you? That's just horrid.
Ugh.
At 5/31/2006 3:02 PM,
Plain(s)feminist said…
It seems to me kinda like when a parent doesn't like the child's choice of mate. There may be good reason, but there is little you can do without alienating the family member.
So, from a proactive standpoint - while this does totally suck - can you address some of your fears with your brother? As in, "I know GF doesn't like me, and I don't want that to affect our relationship. Can you and I carve out some time and space to spend together on a regular basis?" (whether phone calls, visits, whatever)
And then from a sympathetic standpoint - I'm really sorry. It sounds like your brother has some bigger problems if he's willing to marry someone like that. He'll likely need all the support you can offer. I hope he comes to his senses. Maybe he feels he can't do better?
At 5/31/2006 4:53 PM,
Zoe said…
Brandi - for a smart guy, my brother sure does have really low self-esteem. This is the boy whose mother did not let him get a haircut, even when TWO people mistook him for a girl. And that's just ONE thing she did. Low self-esteem doesn't magically disappear the moment you leave the place where you got it. Wish it did, but it doesn't.
P(s)F - We talked about that, and he does still talk with me a lot, though it's rarely when he's home with her, more often it's during the day when we're both at work or something. I think he absolutely feels like he can't do much better. Again, low self-esteem. I blame it all on our parents who drummed it into us again and again how if we weren't perfect, then we were failures, and how if we screwed something up my dad would be screaming "Are you an idiot? Are you a yo-yo?" That's not going to produce self-confident people.
With us living in different cities, and my not really being welcome in their house, we probably won't see each other for quite some time.
At 6/02/2006 6:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
(This is someone you 'know' but I can't use my name here on this comment.)
Bitchy sister-in-laws suck. Ours has alienated her husband's side of the family and twisted versions of things to fit her agendas. We've all come to the conclusion we can't do anything about it but recognize it for what it is and hope that one day he'll tell her to fuck off and come back to having fun with us.
I'm sorry, Zoe. You must feel lonely, knowing your only sibling is being held hostage.
At 6/03/2006 8:40 AM,
Candy Noseisnumb said…
I am really sorry to hear that.It really is awful when we dont break those chains our parents tied us down with. I spose his health doesnt help him feeling worthy.
You could her ass and then see your brother, i spose. I kiss my MILs' ass and she tried to get the Mr. to break up with me WHILE i was pregnant.
hugs.
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