Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

So at one point in August, I was on top of the world. My brother and CG wanted to fly me to LA to watch their dog. All I had to do was take off three days before Thanksgiving.

I asked all three attorneys I work for, got approval, ran to HR to ask if there was still time for one more secretary to take off, got THAT approved.

Told my brother to book the tickets. Made plans with a friend in LA for Turkey Day. I can not adequately explain how excited I was at the thought of having a sweet dog to play with for an entire week. Having a car at my disposal. Being in a city that I know a tiny bit and wouldn't mind getting to know a little bit more.

Then last Friday, I got this:

Just wanted to let you know that there has been a tentative change in our Thanksgiving plans. Packages to Anchorage are really expensive and [the people they were going to visit] are all coming to CA for Christmas so CG and I decided to take the same amount of time off, drive up (with [dog]) to SF the weekend before Thanksgiving, stay in SF Sat, Sun, Mon and part of Tuesday and then go to the Carmel house Tuesday for most/all of the rest of the week. CG specifically invited you to come to the Carmel house for Thanksgiving. You can rent a car and follow us down from SF.

As far as I know, none of her family wil be there except possibly her brother. Anyway, you're welcome to join us and I'll consider these new plans final when we book a hotel for SF, which I'll push to get done this weekend. I like the new plan much better than the old plan. I want to go to Alaska and see the house and the area and the baby and all, but not in November.

Today's not really a good day for me phonecall wise, but we can talk this weekend or next week. Sorry plans keep changing. I assure you that this one had nothing whatsoever to do with you (in case you were worried about that.)

I am SO CRUSHED about this. On many levels. Anyone I've spoken with has encouraged me to keep the time off from work and go somewhere and do something.

But I think that's one of those pieces of advice people give that they wish someone would give THEM in that situation, not advice they've thought out for me. I also feel like the people who've suggested I take a trip elsewhere don't realize that this trip to LA was an entirely FREE trip. I pay for food in San Francisco, I'd have to pay for food in Los Angeles. All I'd pay extra for is a couple of tanks of gas for the car. That's ALL.

It's a no brainer to take off from work for a free trip to play with a dog. But other than LA, I don't really have anywhere to go. I certainly don't have anywhere I can go that has a dog for me to play with.

So I have to tell HR I'm giving the time back. I should let someone else take off the time if they want it. What bothers me most about this is it's the SECOND time I'm doing this - second time my brother asked me to dog/house sit, and second time I've asked for time off, gotten it approved, only to have to go back later because my brother changed his mind.

HOW EMBARRASSING! I hope HR doesn't tell me they'll no longer approve any vacation time for me in the future because of this. I'm certainly never ever going to take time off from work based on my brother's word that he wants me to dogsit again.

I suppose I should take solice in the fact that they were willing to have me watch the dog. Fuck. I was so excited. So, SO excited.

If you talked to me this past Friday, and I was rude to you, I'm sorry. I spent the whole morning crying at my desk, and the whole afternoon trying to not cry. So I was a little distracted during any conversations.