I Swear, I Don't Usually Have So Much Drama

Looks like my parents might be moving to Florida. My dad has been out of work since I don't know when, and just got a job offer in South Florida, not too far from where I used to live. Their NY house went on the market today (for either sale or rent).

This is not the house I grew up in, so I'm not feeling mushily sentimental about the move at all. And since I haven't been feeling welcome nor comfortable with my parents, I didn't have any plans to stay with them in the future. However.

HOLY SHIT.

I want to be positive for them, because you know... their lives are just so fucking depressing the way they are. And yet, Florida is where I had my last nervous breakdown, and I still haven't gone back to visit, even though I really would like to see my grandpa before he dies. (He's not Dying, he's just Old, and therefore...)

WOW.

If my parents move out of New York then I will feel like I've lost my ties there, despite what I said above about not feeling welcome in their home. I'll have lost my ties to the place that has truly good bagels, and good pizza.

Having now lived in four different states, New York is the one where I know how to get around best. It's where I learned to drive. Where I learned how to skid on ice. It's where I understand the people best. It's where I can walk into a restaurant and see someone who's known me since I was three years old. It's where, if I ever needed to, I could pull the "Let me speak to the owner" card, because the owner will know me. It's where I can get jewelry fixed or cleaned for free, because the owner of the jewelry store sponsored my soccer team when I was four years old.

Even if I never wind up moving back to New York (if I ever have kids, I'll hightail it back there in a heartbeat), it will always be home to me. It's weird to think that if my parent's house sells, I won't have a base there anymore.