My Mother Had a Stroke
We think. Yesterday/last night. I'll back up.
Yesterday my father came home from work and found my mother unable to move, unable to talk/respond to him. He has no way of knowing if she was like that for five minutes before he got home, or five hours. She has epilepsy and is supposed to take anti-seizure pills four times a day - she hadn't taken ANY of them. Missing just ONE round of pills can bring a seizure.
He ultimately had to call 911 and an ambulance took her to the hospital. They did a cat-scan. They ruled out a major stroke, which means they did NOT rule out a minor stroke.
This morning they did blood tests, an ultrasound (of her stomach, I don't know why), and an MRI, among other tests. As of 9 a.m. my mother answered the phone and called me the embarrassing nickname only she ever calls me, and with a LOT of thinking and effort could say "yes, no, okay, umm" in response to my questions. She laughed when I said something funny.
As of 2 p.m. she could tell me multi-layer sentences (the doctor came to see me but hadn't read my chart yet and will come back), and remembered the ambulance. I asked a complex question and she was able to follow and respond to it, and laugh at the irony of her response. So I think it was a minor stroke, and think she'll ultimately be fine.
However. Can we talk about the feelings portion of this? Namely, my feelings, though if you have some please feel free to share. I'm confused and can't sort out how I feel about this all.
Because on one hand, I feel like after the horrible Florida trip, in my mind I kind of wrote off my parents quite a bit, and delegated them to casual aquaintance status. You know, we'll chat every so often, and if we're in town will get together, but no real effort will be put forth.
On the other hand, this is my mommy and she must have been so scared and I'm so damn good at playing Nurse Nancy and everyone in my family knows it and even though nobody says it everybody wants me around when there's a medical crisis and I'm not there.
My brother and I talked about flying across the country to see her this weekend, and I was all eh about it, while he was on the fence but about to hop off on the LA side, because why bother.
You may be wondering: did my mother come to LA when my brother had his heart surgeries, and the answer would be No, no she did not. However, this is because she was discouraged from it, because she's high maintenance, while I, despite all my issues, am not really (or at least, I'm not compared to her).
Plus she had some Womanly Surgery several years ago and was VERY hurt that neither my brother nor I came to the hospital to see her then. I told my brother not to go by guilt. If he wants to go, it would make more sense to go visit her after she's home from the hospital and my dad is back at work.
Also, I think I'm not having much sympathy for my mother, because I think she brought this upon herself. She is so VERY overweight, and every single one of her medical issues are exacerbated by obesity. And we've talked to her over and over about it. I specifically remember one time in New York, when we came home from somewhere and before we got out of the car, I started crying, telling my mother I was really scared she was going to die from being fat. And yet she continues stuffing her face and moving no further than within the confines of her home.
I am kind of hoping this can be her wakeup call, and a catalyst for change of lifestyle. But I am not optomistic, which makes me sad. So that's where I am.
Yesterday my father came home from work and found my mother unable to move, unable to talk/respond to him. He has no way of knowing if she was like that for five minutes before he got home, or five hours. She has epilepsy and is supposed to take anti-seizure pills four times a day - she hadn't taken ANY of them. Missing just ONE round of pills can bring a seizure.
He ultimately had to call 911 and an ambulance took her to the hospital. They did a cat-scan. They ruled out a major stroke, which means they did NOT rule out a minor stroke.
This morning they did blood tests, an ultrasound (of her stomach, I don't know why), and an MRI, among other tests. As of 9 a.m. my mother answered the phone and called me the embarrassing nickname only she ever calls me, and with a LOT of thinking and effort could say "yes, no, okay, umm" in response to my questions. She laughed when I said something funny.
As of 2 p.m. she could tell me multi-layer sentences (the doctor came to see me but hadn't read my chart yet and will come back), and remembered the ambulance. I asked a complex question and she was able to follow and respond to it, and laugh at the irony of her response. So I think it was a minor stroke, and think she'll ultimately be fine.
However. Can we talk about the feelings portion of this? Namely, my feelings, though if you have some please feel free to share. I'm confused and can't sort out how I feel about this all.
Because on one hand, I feel like after the horrible Florida trip, in my mind I kind of wrote off my parents quite a bit, and delegated them to casual aquaintance status. You know, we'll chat every so often, and if we're in town will get together, but no real effort will be put forth.
On the other hand, this is my mommy and she must have been so scared and I'm so damn good at playing Nurse Nancy and everyone in my family knows it and even though nobody says it everybody wants me around when there's a medical crisis and I'm not there.
My brother and I talked about flying across the country to see her this weekend, and I was all eh about it, while he was on the fence but about to hop off on the LA side, because why bother.
You may be wondering: did my mother come to LA when my brother had his heart surgeries, and the answer would be No, no she did not. However, this is because she was discouraged from it, because she's high maintenance, while I, despite all my issues, am not really (or at least, I'm not compared to her).
Plus she had some Womanly Surgery several years ago and was VERY hurt that neither my brother nor I came to the hospital to see her then. I told my brother not to go by guilt. If he wants to go, it would make more sense to go visit her after she's home from the hospital and my dad is back at work.
Also, I think I'm not having much sympathy for my mother, because I think she brought this upon herself. She is so VERY overweight, and every single one of her medical issues are exacerbated by obesity. And we've talked to her over and over about it. I specifically remember one time in New York, when we came home from somewhere and before we got out of the car, I started crying, telling my mother I was really scared she was going to die from being fat. And yet she continues stuffing her face and moving no further than within the confines of her home.
I am kind of hoping this can be her wakeup call, and a catalyst for change of lifestyle. But I am not optomistic, which makes me sad. So that's where I am.
posted by Zoe @ 2:57 PM
2 comments
